zennykid

Dean

2007-09-05T14:23:00.000-07:00

I'm still troubled by the murder of my friend Dean back in June.
He was the sweetest guy I've ever met. One of the few people in this world who would actually give you the shirt off his back, the shoes off his feet, the food off his plate, and the money out of his wallet if you needed it.

His wife had left him a year ago and he was down in Portland to talk to her mother about helping him to get his marriage back. Unfortunately he was unaware of the fact that his mother-in-law had recently moved.
No one knows the details of the events leading up to it but at some point a transient stabbed him to death.
Knowing Dean he was probably just trying to help the guy out.
It bothers me that such a violent death should befall such a gentle man.
Hopefully his karmic debt is paid now and he can move on.

The Ladies

2007-05-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

I bought two albums today that I can recommend without reservation. Feist 'The Reminder' and Noisettes 'What's The Time Mr. Wolf?'
I'm not too big on the female vocalists, as I find they make me sleepy, but Leslie Feist and Shingai Shoniwa have certain vocal styles that make me need to have everything they put out. Shingai is the only gal in rock that I will support.
Magnificent voice.
Go buy.

Arm Bar

2006-07-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am completely addicted to The Ultimate Fighter. Long have I campaigned against "Reality TV" but this show is fantastic.
What makes this show different from the hated ones?
No chicks. No feminine men. It's all macho all the time and sweet christmas in July I need that. Also, as someone who trains for fighting it is good to see how some folks go about it. Of particular interest is reversing submissions. Very valuable information.
Having watched so much UFC I have a great need to give myself an impressive name. Here's a few I'm tossing around:
Scott "The Alabaster Disaster" Pennykid
Scott "The Ivory Assassin" Pennykid
Scott "The Pale Nail" Pennykid
Scott "Tighty Whitey" Pennykid

Any thoughts?

Kiai!

2006-06-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

I have of course seen a good number of smart cars since they hit the road but only recently did I find myself riding next to one. I was coming home along Kingsway one sunny afternoon and there in the lane next to me rolled the tiny transport. Good heavens, it was the same length as my bike. I didn't have probable cause so I didn't test my theory, but I feel confident that I could have side-kicked the wee bugger right off the road.
If they ever make one with the power delivery of a sportbike then I will surely buy one.

sam doing four emblams fist

2006-05-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by mu bai rodriguez.

photo of sam doing four emblams fist form.

Painfully Funny

2006-03-18T17:38:00.000-08:00

I couldn't figure out why I had these hard pains in my abdomen this morning when I started exercising. It took a couple of hours for me to remember that I was laughing so hard the day before that I actually hurt myself.
A friend of my father's had lent him a video tape of Billy Connolly's standup.
He did a bit on going to Mexico with his family and telling his kids not to drink the water, only drink from the bottle.
His son drank the bottle and refiiled it from the tap without telling his dad and hilarity insued as the water kept him on the toilet for hours.
The sound effects and facial expressions that accompanied the story had me laughing so hard I wasn't making a sound, could barely breathe, and watched tears run off my face like a fast leaking fawcet.
Never have I experienced this before, so thank you Billy.

Double Digits

2006-03-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

I fear my IQ has dipped below one hundred.
On Saturday Michael was demonstrating his superior skills in the art of baguazhang and managed to land a clean punch to my left temple. It left me disorientated for a few seconds; long enough for an actual opponent to finish me off.
It has been a while since last my brain was rattled and I hope it will be a good while before it happens again.
Ouchy.
Still, the only way to develop real defensive skills is to allow yourself to be attacked on a somewhat regular basis. I just hope I get a lot better real quick.
Can't get dumber, dammit!

Handled

2006-03-09T16:53:00.000-08:00

'Twas my second session of massage therapy today. It varied from my first session in that the therapists attention was quite concentrated on my hamstrings, calves, and glutes. Apparently I am a tightass.
It was the usual combination of pain and pleasure but in an area where I am not at all used to either.
When she first started working the inner thigh nerves got the better of me and my testicles shot up inside me like two startled squirrels up a tree. After a minute or so I regained my cool and was fine for the rest of the session.
It is just so damn foreign to have someone else's hands on me. I have kept my distance from people for so many years I've made myself skittish. Hopefully by the time I am done with the therapy I'll be more comfortable with the humans.
I will however maintain my high standards as far as the company I keep. I'm not crazy.

The Raconteurs

2006-03-01T12:47:00.000-08:00

Jack White has a new band going by the name The Raconteurs. That's exciting news to me as I am a fan and big supporter of the man.
I listened to the first two releases from them on their fantastic website theraconteurs.com and was pleased with what I heard. Not as hard as I was hoping but still better than most the shit we have to suffer through out there.
When I heard Jack had a new band it got me to thinking who I would team him up with.

Scott's super band:
Jack White - guitar,vocals
Primus' Les Claypool - bass
A resurected John Bohnam - drums
Will Ferrell - cow bell

Yeah

One More Time

2006-02-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

My spine surgeon is intent on taking the metal out of my spine in about nine months. I'm certainly not going to fight him on that one. I was glad to hear him speak so casually about it. It seems it will be a fairly simple procedure and I should be checking out of the hospital the next day. He said that I should be able to return to work a week or so after the operation.
That seems awfully optimistic to me but I will bow to his authority on this sort of thing.
For the first time I saw the x-ray of my spine and it would be quite beautiful if it were someone else's. But when I'm looking at my spine with two titanium rods and eight screws holding them in place I have difficulty appreciating the artistry of the work.
Man, it will be a load off my mind to get that crap out of there. I never could make peace with that many pieces of metal in such a vulnerable place. I have been afraid of taking any impact there. Paralysis being my number two greatest fear. It of course takes second place to amputation.
I just want to finish my life with the same parts I started with, hopefully still functioning as they were designed to.
Simple goal for a simple man.

Massage

2006-02-10T12:42:00.000-08:00

I went to my first session of massage therapy yesterday. First massage ever for me. Same setup as acupuncture. Also like acupuncture I was told to strip down to my undies. I expect that. But why is it the first thing these folks do after you lie down is yank your undies down.
Why not just start naked?
Why establish comfort then yank it away?
At least it was a woman. That was a pleasant change. And hands massaging sure beats needles piercing. This marked the first time anyone other than me had their hands on my bare ass. Made me a wee bit uncomfortable but of course it also felt quite good. Work on the knots in my back was considerably less delightful. Feels kind of gross really.
Hopefully the treatments will enable me to inch a little closer to the development of the dragon body. Time will tell.

Coupla' Honkies

2005-12-30T10:44:00.000-08:00

I'm presently reading three books: 'Opening The Energy Gates Of Your Body' and 'The Power Of The Internal Martial Arts' by B.K. Frantzis, and 'Harnessing The Power Of The Universe' by Daniel Reid.
The great thing about Taoists from a western background is the fact that they can explain in western medical terms the nature of Taoist energy practices. I actually prefer the poetic descriptions of the east but the western explanations are far more convincing to those who always need to know the science.
Both these artists and authors know their stuff. If the nature of qigong and neigong are something you have some interest in grab one of these books. Should make things clear for you.

In one of my multi-hour web searches I found a fellow in Vancouver that studied with B.K. Frantzis and teaches baguazhang and qigong. I've emailed him and am waiting for a response. I'll keep you posted.

Back Again

2005-12-05T12:34:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday's Fu Style class was all about the advanced taiji. Master Fu has abreviated the full 105 form to just the individual patterns performed on the left and right sides due to the difficulty of not-so-advanced students performing an advanced set before they've reached a level in their training where their chi moves their body instead of muscular effort. Just the muscles means you actually lose energy performing the full set. It is strenuous. So much so that I reactivated a back injury from earlier in the week that my TCM doctor had alleviated on Wednesday. Oops.
To get an idea of advanced Fu Style Taiji you can see a short video clip of it on fustyle.org. Click on Shop then scroll down until you find it. The clip is of the Grasping Sparrows Tail pattern.
From the diagrams I saw on Master Hon Sat Chuen's site (dantao.com), advanced Fu Style Taijiquan looks quite a bit like the Dragon Style of tajiquan. Dragon Style is probably the rarest taiji system out there right now. Both Dragon Style and advanced Fu Style break the conventions of taiji by bending at the waist all throughtout the set. They require so much more flexibility and balance than other systems. If you perform these styles regularly you'll definitely increase the power in your waist. You'll also feel as agile as Spiderman. I'm guessing that's a nice feelin'.

The Order

2005-12-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm currently reading Daniel Reid's 'Harnessing the Power of the Universe'. It is the most comprehensive book I've found on the history of qigong development in China as well as giving great detail on the various types of energy within us and around us. An excellent book.
Here's a tasty excerpt:
"In human life, most people enslave their minds and spend their energies to serve their bodies and satisfy their desires, thereby 'mistaking the servant for the master'. In the higher orders of the universe, which human life was designed to reflect, spirit is the master, and energy is the tool through which the spirit expresses itself creatively in material form. In order to harness the power of the universe for the benefit of humanity, human beings must pattern their bodies as well as their minds on the universal order of creation reflected in nature and the cosmos and known as the Tao, for this is the context in which human life evolved. When practising the Tao, one must learn to balance physical health and vitality with spiritual awareness and virtue, for that is the one and only way the Tao works."

Hundred Hands Cry Havoc

2005-11-14T13:55:00.000-08:00

In this weeks Fu Style class we learned the bagua push hands form. What a pleasure this form is. Teaches the crucial elements of moving in time with your opponent, creating openings, neutralizing attacks and countering. It was the most fun I've had learning to disable someone.
On the other end of the spectrum, I managed to really aggrevate the sore rib from the previous week. I have to do all kinds of rehabilitive exercises in preparation for returning to work on the twenty-first and my rib screams a little louder with each exercise.
Very counter-productive if you ask me. Enh, what are you gonna do.
I talked to one of Grandmaster Zhang's students, Philip, and he suggested I take some more time to let my back heal before joining their qigong class. Apparently one must hold the standing postures for 30 minutes. I am not presently able to do that.
It's a little frustrating to have finally found a strong qigong teacher in Vancouver, with a very valuable form of qigong to pass on, and not be able to start for a while. Hopefully I'll be strong enough in January.

Poor Ribs

2005-11-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

Saturday's Fu Style class was another memorable one. We were working on slow sparring, which is pretty much free roaming push hands with more options.
When I was working with Sam, it was light and fun. No casualties.
When I was working with Michael, it was just a blur of hands, with my face and ribs taking many blows. Practice slow, my ass!
Michael landed one clean blow to my ribs that hurt real good. Forty-eight hours later it still hurts when I press there. Not a good year for my ribs.
It was a great exercise for working on timing, sensing, and applying the patterns we practice to combat.
Oh, I've got a long way to go before I'm proficient in these arts.

Coupla' Movies

2005-10-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

Against my better judgement, I was forced to watch 'The Notebook ' at Kyla's new place. I had sworn off the viewing of all love stories as I find them to be detrimental to my already too slow disolving of my desires.
Oh well. I have to support good Canadian kids Rachel and Ryan. They both delivered fine performances and I expect both actors will only get bigger and better with time.
For a three and a half months late birthday present, Kyla gave me 'Cinema Paradiso', 1989's Best Foreign Film Oscar Winner. It is a fantastic film. Viva Italia! That country puts out some of the finest films. Hell, does any country put out the level of art that they do? No.
I have a real weakness for stories involving an old man mentoring a child. They are always more personal for me. Cinama Paradiso is a very good example of this kind of film. I loved it.

Palm Palms

2005-09-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

Starting in today's Fu style class, I have changed emphasis from taijiquan to baguazhang. I find the movements to be more conducive to relaxing and strengthening my damaged back.
I find bagua demands much more balance than taiji and liangyi. Man, I was all over the place. Yet another day I found myself wishing we didn't practice in such a public place. It seems I am not cool with wobbling like a tranqd' bear in front of strangers. I'll work on that.
Since I'll be learning a different style of taiji when I move to New Zealand in a couple years, it seemed like a good idea to concentrate on the famed Fu style bagua.
Ya gotta love the dragon style martial arts.

I can read

2005-08-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

Starting from June, I've read seven books while infirmed.
Angels and Demons, The da Vinci Code - Dan Brown's two thrillers with title character Robert Langdon. Fast and funny. I love fiction with actual history mixed in. Of course, the problem for me is not knowing what was true and what was imagination. Ultimately, I don't care as long as it holds my interest and these books surely did that.
Good Omens - Written by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Wickedly funny and rather obviously an attack on all humans over the age of twelve. Myself being deeply disappointed in my shaved-ape brethren, I agreed with the authors' evaluation, as well as their resolution. Bloody great characters and hilarious images for the reader.
Autumn Bridge - Written by Takashi Matsuoka. The second of his two book tale set in both Japan and America in the mid to late 19th century. I loved the blatant contrast between the two cultures and the highlighted foolishness of putting pointless custom ahead of one's true nature. Takashi is a student of Zen and that is a strong undercurrent in his books. Very cool books. (the other book is Cloud of Sparrows)
Rainbow Six - Written by Tom Clancy. I'm not the biggest Clancy fan but I do love the John Clark character. The first Clancy book I read was Without Remorse. That one is all about Clark, and it is perfection. Rainbow Six isn't half as compelling as Remorse was because, for my taste, it has too many characters. And frankly I've lost interest in military action. Also, I found myself siding with the bad guys in this one, as I too believe the only way the planet can heal is if humans are removed from it. Go bad guys!
Still the Mind; An Introduction to Meditation - written by Alan Watts. Alan found fame first as a brilliant intellectual and then as a serious student of buddhism and meditation. This is a small book and is very plainly written. Alan is so good at making what can sometimes be very complicated eastern philosophy seem as simple as fire is hot, ice is cold. The core of Ch'an(zen) is illustrated in this book in a manner that provides the unitiated with a very fine introduction to an incredibly simple method of discovering truth.
The Complete Book of Tai Chi Chuan - Written by Wong Kiew Kit. It is as complete as the title implies. Basic hand techniques, footwork techniques, full illustrated patterns of six major styles. As well as methods for developing internal force, qi flow, and achieving a state of zen. Lots of history and some very useful self-defense patterns using various postures from the forms. Great book for all students of this amazing art.

Phoenix Boy

2005-08-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

At last I have risen from the ashes and three months after the accident I was able to return to my Fu Style class. Bagua is out but I can perform the 105 Taiji set with reasonable grace.
There is plenty of pain felt in the still swollen and stiff ankle, but the taiji movements are very therapeutic and result in a much loosened and happier joint.
My classmates are all learning Bagua Cyclone Broadsword which remains out of the reach of our hero for at least a little while longer. Bastards. However, the advantage of my limited physical dynamicism is that I am almost forced to emphasize the training of internal force and qi flow. Since that is the corner stone of all internal martial arts, I'm glad I am unable to be distracted by the bewitching forms.
I am a power whore by nature.
Good to be on track.

Entering Tao

2005-08-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Three months after the Falcon and I were forced into a premature separation by a sinister silver Corolla I have experienced the first sign of real development. As I stood in my backyard this morning, after having completed 'lifting the sky' from 18 lohan, while in standing zen, I went into spontaneous qi flow. According to Grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit, this type of exercise opens the blockages in the body and enables one's qi to flow smoothly.
Oh man, I needed this badly.
I am still on the hunt for a strong qigong master. I have some names now and am in the process of investigating the legitimacy of each. Hopefully I will be back to serious training within the month.
I will post the name of the legitimate teacher when I confirm one.

Now And Zen

2005-05-05T17:49:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading "Zen Wisdom: Knowing and Doing; thirty-eight conversations with Ch'an Master Sheng-Yen".
This is a perfect book for any curious about ch'an buddhism. The format is my favorite type; question and answer. The entire book is presented as: student asks question - shih fu answers. In true ch'an fashion, shih fu forgoes the mystical poetic poopies, and just tells it to us straight. Glorious.
I'm also quite addicted to the FAQ section of a number of websites. My most treasured being the homesite of shaolin grandmaster Wong Kiew Kit.(wongkk.com) His question-answers section is HUGE. I've spent eye-bleeding hours in there.
He also has a link to the forum. There his students from all over the world discuss their training experiences and help one another with any obstructions one has come up against. Very useful to all martial artists and meditators.
If you value the valuable, investigate.

P.O.W.

2005-04-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

I always had this idea that acupuncture would feel really good.
"The needles don't hurt" people would say.
"Clears blockages along the meridians in the body" advertisements would declare.
'Sounds sweet', thought I.
Not so. Not so.
I always walk away from a session feeling like a prisoner of war who rubs his captor the wrong way.
The last session broke new ground for me. Electricity.
If you don't know, I am terrified of electricity. It's invisible. It's impossibly fast. It kills painfully. That says it all.
Lying face down with the back needled nicely, I hear this:
"I'm just going to run some low frequency electricity through you."
"Say what?"
"It won't hurt because it's low frequency."
"Uh..."
"Ok. I'm starting it now."
Click. Sickening humming sound. Unsettling tingly-prickly sensation. Frequency adjusted.
"OH HOLY MOTHER OF F---!!" Cried at a frequency too high for any but the Almighty to hear.
Thinking to myself, 'I can take it. Just breathe through it. Owwww. Alright, breathing's out. Think about the ocean. You're Aquaman. Swimming like a son'bitch. Leaping out of the water like dolphins wish they could. Why the hell is there a harpoon in my back? Oh, yeah.
Waiting for Dr. Tom to stop the madness, he, instead, shuts off the light and leaves the room for ten minutes. "Mother!" *spot-on Daffy Duck impression*
Well, now I know what a monstrous, ten minute, muscle spasm feels like.
Surprisingly, quite awful.
When that ordeal was over, I roll onto my back for round two of 'puncture the Pennykid'.
Sticks one in my wrist that feels like he cut off my hand. A deep, dull, throbbing pain.
Shuts off the light and leaves the room for twenty minutes.
Pain increases and holds steady for the duration. Longest friggin' twenty minutes ever. When he returned I was dangerously dehydrated from all the tears spilt.
Everytime I go there I'm emasculated.
From mucho macho, to three times a lady. Damn.

Paper Dragon

2005-04-20T12:08:00.000-07:00

Hmm. The evidence is stacking up against me. Try as I may to convince myself that I am a warrior born, the pudding keeps disproving it.
Two new items offered into evidence:
-slipped my shoulder out while soaping up in the shower
-burnt my thumb and finger sealing a ziplock lunchbag a little too quickly
Shrieked in both instances.
Future opponents, recoil in fear. I'm a bad mutha!

Hurts, don't it

2005-04-18T12:21:00.000-07:00

Two tales from training:
1- Having been told by both Master Fu and Dr. Tom that my freakish tension is thwarting my development, I have taken to experimenting with the power of suggestion.
All throughout the day I say to myself "soft ". While this has helped me to open my joints and let go of some of the general tension in my body, it also has led me to the doorstep of impotence.
Ah. The tranquility of flacidity. Like Grace Jones; beautiful and bizarre.

2- For my brothers and sisters - fellow templeless monks and nuns - who , in their celebacy, miss having orgasms. I can help.
I have found a reasonable facsimile.
Get into a low horse riding stance. Hold it. Hold it. When you have gone minutes beyond your pain threshold, and your legs are vibrating, your breathing is eratic, and your starting to see Jesus, fall down onto your back and quickly straighten your legs. Squeeze your quadriceps and roll your pelvis back.
Enjoy.
Note: If you're practicing celebacy, and you can't stop thinking about sex, or falling in love, then please let go of your vow. It is not something you force on yourself. You are made for it, or you're not. Find what is natural for you.

Spirals

2005-04-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

It's funny to me that I have such love for directness and efficiency, yet my path is riddled with spirals and catapults that send me back several paces and usually leave me disoriented.
What is simpler than the attraction of a fella to a gal?
Depends on the fella.
For me, it kicked off a bizarre chain of torments and revelations. Writing the details here would constitute cruel and unusual punishment on you, the reader, so I'll skip to the result.
I've come to the end of sensual desire as it pertains to male-female relations. Be they sexual or romantic. I honestly have no interest left within me. Most shockingly, even a perfect ass stirs no reaction. It doesn't seem possible, I know. However, it is so.
I have regained the clarity and focus I had twenty years ago.
I know what I'm doing. I know what I was made to do.
Long way to go, though.
The Taoist grand view of accomplishment keeps me on track: Perfect freedom in perfect fusion with the cosmic order.
If you understand it's meaning, you understand it's power.

too close

2005-04-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

The acupuncture treatment I received last week was, thankfully, the first that required no yanking down of the undies so I was hopeful going into yesterdays session. Lying on my stomach as, needles are mapped out over my back, I was pleased to find the Jockeys still in place at the conclusion.
"Roll onto your back."
"Okey doke."
"Move your underwear down."
"Aww, crap."
Indeed. I've mentioned some of the pain I've felt before, but I don't even remember that now. Two needles that close to the Heffalump, and the unique brand of pain generated when they're manipulated... Marmaduke! That smarts!
My celibacy is no longer a choice I make. My handsome lad has been frightened into permanent mellow.
Poor little guy.

The bar is raised

2005-03-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

Boon told me that an eight year old girl in his martial arts school can do 100 full push ups(that's one set) and 20 proper chins(also one set).
I intend to wait 12 years, then ask her for her hand in marriage.
Hey. I'm practically engaged!
I hope anyone who reads this feels shame for their own lazy attitude towards training.
Eight years old, man!

aw...fudge

2005-03-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it was confirmed today, I am not a fighter, either.
It has long been established that I am no lover. But, I had high hopes I was at least a little manly. Not so.
Today's Fu Style class hammered the last nails in the coffin. Working on an application that was no great challenge for any other idiot; I could not get the body working the way it had to. Doing it gently, I harmed myself repeatedly while having no effect on my partner at all. Maybe that's my style. Make my opponent feel pity for me, as I tear my own muscles and spin myself unconcious, then throw a rock at him as he walks away in disgust.
Brilliant!

disaster

2005-03-25T16:05:00.000-08:00

In today's acupuncture/qigong session, Dr. Tom referred to my energy situation as a disaster. Liver is having a disagreement with spleen. Kidneys are having a disagreement with heart. Yang qi is deficient. Yin qi is grossly deficient. How did this happen to such a powerful soul, you say? Well, I'll tell ya. As a boy, I grew up idolizing heroes. Be it Bruce Lee, Batman, Green Lantern, or the Bionic Man; I held fast to a very particular ideal of what a man should be. What a human should be. Twenty years later, I still hold myself to it. I'm not talking about possessing superpowers or saving babies from burning buildings, I mean the character of a hero. Strong. Never quits. Willing to sacrifice everything for what he knows to be right. I became very determined to have no weaknesses. Difficult in a culture that breeds weakness. Strong men and women are poor consumers. They don't need products to fill the emptiness they feel. The strong don't feel empty. Can't have that. So, like everyone else, I was bombarded with images and ideas that were not my own. These created concepts and opinions that knocked me so far from the ideal I had already cast in stone, that it created great conflict within me. Which was the real me. The hero, or the angry, opinionated jerk. Now, they both felt natural. Neither actually were. Of course, humans are designed to learn from what they observe, so it could be argued that both were, in fact, natural. Who knows? The point is, I wanted to be the hero. I wanted to always do what's right. I wanted my strength to be legendary. So, I became very rigid. Always trying to hold back what I felt were weaknesses. Forcing myself to be something that I conceived. I built a sturdy wall around myself to keep out anything that I felt could weakem me. Being human, and thusly limited in knowledge, I was unable to properly distinguish the difference in what would strengthen, and what would weaken. That was ultimately what led to my current state. I made some poor choices. Kept out a lot of things I desparately needed to let in. Held on to things that needed to go. I hate to think of the years I've wasted, but I do believe in paths, and I believe it was necessary for me to do this to myself. If I had done everything right, would I have learned anything? Would I have been able to relate to people who weren't perfect? Probably not. So, now I have to train myself to be natural. Sounds easy enough. We'll see how it goes. I'm thinking that wall won't come down in a day, though. But it will come down.

and so it must be

2005-03-24T16:13:00.000-08:00

I'm walking home from Imperial Motorcycles after having another disheartening talk about the fate of the 'Falcon', and I see two georgeous brunettes standing at the corner I'm approaching. There's a large cherry tree between us in full blossom, the strong wind has the petals cascading down and around us, like a scene from an overly dramatic Hong Kong film. When I am but 8 feet from these beauties, the one on the right smiles and says "Hi", to which I naturally respond with "Hi". It is just so unfortunate that I had no indication of the phlegm that had built up in my throat. Relax. I didn't project anything. But, I did sound precisely like Kermit the frog on heavy tranquilizers. Never done that before. And I was so sure they were just about to invite me into some dirty dalliance. Ah, it is written in the heavens that Scott shall ever be uncool in the presence of fine looking ladies. At least they had a good laugh. I admit, I did as well.